Abuse


Abusive behavior includes:

-attempting to control someone
-nitpicking
-guilt-tripping after sincere apologies have been made
-direct verbal attacks
-physical violence
-rumor spreading
-misrepresentation of someone's character and personality (aka lying)
- The abuser claims the victim is the problem and often times convinces other people that the victim is the problem too.
-The abuser makes the victim look like the abuser when the victim defends him or herself and lashes out in self-defense.

How to Deal With Abuse:

-distance yourself from the abuser and move if you have to
-mentally guard yourself from the abuser, the abuser's friends, and unpleasant reactions of even people closest to you
-do NOT argue or try to reason with an abuser if he/she cannot see his/her own behavior as abusive
-defend yourself against the abuser and those that side with the abuser when appropriate
-DON'T blame yourself, not even a little bit for being abused
-If you can, lean on God. Pray.

***Special Note: Divorce someone if he/she won't stop abusing you. DON'T let religion dictate the lie of staying together in this situation. God does NOT want you to be abused.

How to Help Victims and Abusers:

-Financially support (if able) the counseling of victims and abusers (if they are willing to seek treatment (There will be abusers that want to change; be open to helping them receive that help).
-Financially support (if able) the separation and living situation of victims and abusers
-Be there to listen empathetically and non-judgmentally to both the victims and abusers (yes, even the abusers)
-DON'T ignore, dismiss, belittle, generalize, or stereotype the situation. Every situation contains UNIQUE aspects. Learn to listen carefully.
-Lean on God. Pray.


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