Basic Policy Recommendations in Developing Emotional Intelligence Via the Educational System

I believe that emotional intelligence and healthy relationship skills can be taught to those who recognize problems involving unhealthy relationships and are willing to work on themselves. The earlier one starts to learn about conflict management, the better. I believe that conflict management is a key factor to developing healthy relationships. I believe that by informing people about the effective methods of conflict management, people can have healthier relationships. A lot of individuals use the term conflict resolution. I chose the term conflict management because not all conflict is resolved; sometimes conflict must be managed.

Within effective conflict management is the potential for a wealth of skills to be developed for healthy relationships. These skill sets are closely related to emotional intelligence skill sets. Self-awareness, empathy, learning to listen well, communicating with respectful dialogue, a proactive mindset, forgiveness, not trying to control the other person, not expecting perfection, etc. are some examples of skills that can be used to effectively manage conflict.

Furthermore, conflict management education provides a concrete context in which people can practice and learn how to deal with situations that may arise. Roleplaying different scenarios is an example of an effective tool that many conflict resolution programs employ to teach others on how to properly deal with conflicts.

Here are some ideas I have about what conflict management education could include:

A required K-12 conflict management course within the schooling system could do the following:

-Consist of the same standards as academic courses. (essays, multiple choice exams, presentations)

-Function with a lecture and lab portion.

The coursework should be age or grade level appropriate. Furthermore, the need for such coursework should be established at the beginning of the course so students understand the importance of what they are learning.

The lecture portion would focus on empathy through analyzing different types of situations (such as my boyfriend is cheating on me; I'm not getting along with a jealous friend, etc.) by doing the following:

-Specify each situation; background information about individuals

involved would be described, and other relevant information would be included.

-Examine different ways of dealing with the situation. Word choice and

tone would be emphasized and explored with regards to effective means of

communication.

The lab portion will consist of students practicing writing letters and communicating with each other in attempts to resolve and mitigate the situations they examine in lecture. In both the lecture and lab sections, self-fulfilling prophecies, attribution errors, and perception should be addressed.

It should be emphasized in the coursework that some people will choose not to do the right thing; however, how the other party reacts to situation is what

matters. Individuals cannot control other individuals, but he/she can control

his/her reactions. In another words, as Stephen Covey points out in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, a person must work on being proactive, not reactive.

In addition to an empathy/conflict management course, the need for a parenting class is also imperative for high school students.

-This course could be required for all four years of high school and (if individuals choose to continue their education) college.

-Such a class would teach common problematic situations that parents encounter

-Typical parenting problems and proper parenting techniques would also be addressed.

-Different solutions in dealing with these problems would be analyzed and explored, and the course would parallel the lecture/lab pattern of the conflict management/empathy course.

-Relevant child developmental psychology would be included in the relationship parenting course.

-Financial management will also be addressed in the course.

In addition, to coursework, the climate of the school's administration and teachers should reflect the principles underlying effective conflict management. Effective conflict management should be encouraged among school officials. Parental involvement and enforcement should be encouraged. This multi-layered approach stems from Dr. Olweus' argument for comprehensive anti-bullying measures in a school system.

Why have emotional intelligence and conflict management taught in schools?

Schools are a place where results can be measured, and school is required for most youth. Additionally, it would be extremely difficult to require, implement, and measure such education to every single family.

Such a comprehensive implementation of conflict management education will be a challenge. Integration of conflict management training may (as it already has in the past) have to start in life skills courses, guest speaker appearances, and workshops. Informational and training methods at PTO meetings and teacher’s conferences would also be beneficial. Measuring the effectiveness of such initial approaches will be difficult; results will be limited as a consequence of limited approaches. Consistent evaluations through survey methods may point to better strategies of implementation.