Dealing With Pain


We all know through personal experience or through another individual's experience the difficulties in dealing with pain. Here are some Do's and Don't's:

-DO listen carefully and look like you're listening carefully too.
-DO attempt to understand the situation in its entirety before saying anything.
-DO offer qualified advice, advice that you are certain of not slightly certain about.
-DO reach out whether it be ongoing through a listening ear, monetary, resources, etc. 

We live in world where often times the importance of communities are dismissed. Communities have the ability to save or break an individual. Do your part as a citizen of a global community.

-DON’T compare pain. It may not be an accurate comparison; the weight or consequences of actions or situations may be different. Additionally, perceptions may be different and may come across as insensitive, judgmental, or even a competition of who has it worse.
-DON'T ignore the individual.
-DON'T exhibit pity which can often times come across as condescending or devaluing the individual.
-DON'T be dismissive of an individual's feelings or what you perceive to be as not a big deal. It's insensitive, and that individual may not trust you again in disclosing private matters.
-DON'T for obvious reasons belittle the individual's pain.
-DON'T say "Well I told you so." Don't blame the individual for his/her pain. It's incredibly insensitive and hurtful, and it's not up to you to judge the consequences of someone's actions.
-DON'T be a bystander. Reach out the best way you know how.

Emotional Violation

False accusations, false promises, rumor-spreading, and hatred can contribute to a feeling of emotional violation. Emotional violation is a type of spiritual and emotional rape. I've found the best method to combat this violation is to pray and ask God why. God can and will heal you, but you need the right perspective and godly knowledge to bless you.

On Hatred

I used to hate my family and hate my enemies. Hatred is poisonous and wrong. I found myself dwelling on past events where I had been wronged and becoming obsessed with my anger and hatred. As you know, hatred solves nothing and creates internal and external havoc. I also found myself abusing people by being controlling and using hateful language. Had I known about releasing my anger and wrongdoing to the Lord, I may have better been able to heal and cope. A godly perspective is not to only forgive yourself and others daily but to trust in God in avenging your case, His way, not our own way. God knows how to best reach people and to convict them.

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