My Daily Life- Relationships

I believe that emotional intelligence and healthy relationship skills can be taught to those who recognize problems involving unhealthy relationships and are willing to work on themselves. The earlier one starts to learn about conflict management, the better. I believe that conflict management is a key factor to developing healthy relationships. I believe that by informing people about the effective methods of conflict management, people can have healthier relationships. A lot of individuals use the term conflict resolution. I chose the term conflict management because not all conflict is resolved; sometimes conflict must be managed. Within effective conflict management is the potential for a wealth of skills to be developed for healthy relationships. These skill sets are closely related to emotional intelligence skill sets. Self-awareness, empathy, learning to listen well, communicating with respectful dialogue, a proactive mindset, forgiveness, not trying to control the other p...

As you may know, building healthy relationships is integral to an ethical individual and organization. The skills necessary for these relationships include accurate perception, empathy, written and verbal communication, and critical thinking and problem-solving. These skills can be developed within the context of conflict management. Why? Conflict has the potential to make or break relationships whether professional or personal. Conflict is a natural consequence of misunderstanding or different perspectives. Within leadership, there is always the possibility of conflict whether it be due to mistakes, miscommunication, and/or perceptual differences. Conflict can and often times does arise out of these situations. How individuals cope with and approach conflict is integral to the morale and functionality of relationships.  Often times, situations can be blown out of proportion or mitigated greatly by the approach of those involved. The next essay details some tips and appro...

-God is just, and I must rely on His justice and not my own concept of it. He will deal with people accordingly, and His ways are higher and better than what I could come up with. Pray out loud, “I pray for the justice that is Yours Lord, and not the revenge that is mine.” -God is good. He cannot be both good and bad. Good and bad cannot stem from the same source. The good in life is ultimate and prevails and stems from God. However, it is important to acknowledge that there is opposition. There is evil, and this opposition stems from spiritual resistance against God. -I could not and cannot place my reliance on people and succeed. People are flawed. I must place my faith in God. God can and will work through people to help you, but it’s important to acknowledge that God will help you no matter what the circumstance. -God will make it clear when to let go of a relationship or sustain it. - Do not equate God with people’s actions. Displacing people’s actions onto God’s c...

What does forgiveness and accountability entail? Forgiveness respects the intrinsic value of individuals by not defining them by their mistakes whether intentional or unintentional. What I mean by intrinsic value is the individual's ability to be the individual God intended them to be as exemplified by the moral laws that govern this earth. Forgiveness at times demands accountability in a respectful appropriate manner. It's not about revenge but restoration of those damaged by an act or acts of wrongdoing. This restoration should address damages made against any individual. Furthermore, acknowledgement, remorse, and sincere apology over wrongdoing should be willingly expressed. Forgiveness especially entails rehabilitation of the person involved in wrongdoing. It is imperative to help the individual engage in healthy patterns for their own well-being and to restore them to their true self. What I mean by true self is the individual God intends he/she to be. Th...

Spiritual abuse can be difficult to identify. Often, well-intentioned individuals pressure people to believe in Christ using condemnation and fear-invoking tactics. Inappropriately quoting irrelevant Scripture or delivering Scripture in a harsh and insensitive manner are also other forms of spiritual abuse. Instead of empathy and discernment, some Christians judge inaccurately and make incorrect assumptions. Approach matters as well as context, and many Christians and non-Christians miss the mark in this area. If you find yourself being spiritually abused, I recommend letting the individual know what you've observed. If the individual insists that he/she is correct, distance yourself from the individual. God doesn't want you to feel fear, condemnation, or confusion pertaining to His character. God is love, and He wants you to protect yourself from action stemming from wrong doctrine and wrong perceptions.

The ultimate relationship is a perfect one. One that I perceive to be with God. Do I believe in God? I don’t know. I want to, but admittedly at times I am NOT a good example of a follower of God. What I do know: Pursuing the Concept of God is worth it. About People who HATE God: I used to be one of them. Try not to hate something you don't know or understand. NEED and EVIDENCE for God: While I’m not sure what I believe, I do recognize the need for God. Life can be confusing, and I feel I need guidance out of the choices I make. While I feel that it’s normal for me to think I know what’s best for me., I know that I don’t have all the information to make the best decisions. Furthermore, I realize that while I may believe that I know myself, I discover things daily about myself that I didn’t have self- awareness about. I have concluded that I need God to not only survive but to live a life filled with good decision-making. Furthermore, the existence of Truth ...

Pity objectifies people in poverty; yet many mistake pity for compassion. Pity involves viewing and/or treating an individual as an object that one feels sorry for. Often times, looks, tonal quality, and other actions will indicate this objectification, and the individual being objectified will feel like he/she is less of a person. Pity involves a disrespectful view and treatment of an individual. On the other hand, compassion involves viewing and/or treating an individual with empathy, straightforwardness, and tact. Looks, tonal quality, and overall actions that blare, “Oh, I feel so sorry for you,” are not used. Rather the individual is treated like a friend. Compassion involves understanding that circumstances do not define the person and that she could be in the same shoes as the other. With pity, the person is defined by her circumstances.  Pity can take on many different levels, ranging from directly talking to people in poverty as if they were children to the outright ...

Due to poor mental health and abuse cycles, I often found myself moving from place to place and at the mercy of individuals who meant well but were ill-equipped to help. A couple of individuals who welcomed me in turned out to be judgmental and emotionally abusive. Homelessness was not only difficult emotionally, but physically I had to down-size or give away my belongings because I did not have a place to store them. Working was difficult for me because of the PTSD interfered with my ability to function. I was always in need of necessities and often times, I was looked down upon. I would constantly move back with family because I was unable to support myself. Homelessness contributed to my suicidal tendencies. I could not fix my mind, and I could not support myself due to emotional trauma. Additionally. the stress of trying to survive and being abused and mentally ill incapacitated me many times. If you find yourself homeless, don't lose hope. Press forward and stay po...

We all know through personal experience or through another individual's experience the difficulties in dealing with pain. Here are some Do's and Don't's: -DO listen carefully and look like you're listening carefully too. -DO attempt to understand the situation in its entirety before saying anything. -DO offer qualified advice, advice that you are certain of not slightly certain about. -DO reach out whether it be ongoing through a listening ear, monetary, resources, etc.   We live in world where often times the importance of communities are dismissed. Communities have the ability to save or break an individual. Do your part as a citizen of a global community. -DON’T compare pain. It may not be an accurate comparison; the weight or consequences of actions or situations may be different. Additionally, perceptions may be different and may come across as insensitive, judgmental, or even a competition of who has it worse. -DON'T ignore the individual. -...

-There is a lack of accuracy in diagnosis at times due to limited time spent with the patient. -Some psychiatrists are not thorough with collecting background information regarding past relationships (family, romantic, friendships, school, etc.) This lack of thoroughness lends way to a lack of understanding the patient as a human being. -There is a failure to value patient insight. -There is a lack of empathy regarding trauma. -There appears to be a lack of continuity in community support and perhaps even in healthcare for those struggling with mental health.   Mental health must be managed in certain extreme cases. In another words, there is no cure or absolute solution in complex difficult cases. -I am not a psychiatrist but given the importance of relationships pertaining to mental health, a focus on building health relationships for patients and with the patients appears to be a good strategy in conjunction with potential medication. Also, clear, direct co...

About eight years after I became sick, I found a psychiatrist who did psychotherapy and who spent time to listen carefully, understand, and empathize with me as a human being. He removed the labels that I had been stuck with by various psychiatrists and said it was a history of trauma that shaped my mental health. My Advice to You: -If you are suffering from bad mental health, research your psychiatrist and give preference to one that does psychotherapy in conjunction with medical management. Also, choose one that listens well to his/her patients and seeks to understand you and your history. -If you are attempting to go off medications, be careful coming off medications; be aware that you may become suicidal. -If you are on medications, be aware of the side effects of medicines. -Know that when you are vulnerable, it leaves you susceptible to predatory people. -Some people will use your mental health against you to excuse their own bad behavior.  -Most...

To make matters worse, in addition to the abuse I was experiencing, I experienced another type of trauma.   During college, I proposed a vision I had for fighting poverty to a nonprofit. Unfortunately, this nonprofit repeatedly took ideas, wording, and concepts from my proposals and one of my letters of support from faculty without crediting me. I felt robbed and emotionally raped because I had worked so hard on this initiative. I struggled with self-esteem, but I had to remind myself to forgive and move on. Additionally, thereafter, I overcompensated for this bad experience by coming across as arrogant and overly-confident when presenting this initiative. For this, I apologize. I am reminded of a time in high school where a Key Club election was rigged in my favor. It was not my idea, and I did not know that it had happened until it was occurring, but I allowed it to happen and became president of that club. Years later, I apologized to the girl I ran against. Luckily, she w...

As a result of repeated trauma, I had intrusive thoughts. The thoughts were by nature flashbacks, memories that I could not block out. The frequency of the thoughts was all the time, and the intensity was like watching a horror movie unfolding right before my eyes except I was in it, and it wouldn’t stop. To make the thought process worse, these thoughts/flashbacks took on a life of their own and spiraled downward with nightmarish, what if scenarios. What if this happened? What if I had ended up doing this or that? What if I had been pressured into a worse situation? I suspect that I was suffering from trauma-based thinking and OCD. These thoughts occupied my mind nonstop even while I was attempting to read, study, or even hold a normal conversation with a friend. I was mentally tortured, and I felt emotionally raped by the trauma in my life. I began considering suicide and was constantly battling the inclination. My first visit to a psychiatrist while in college was disconce...