Conflict Management

As you may know, building healthy relationships is integral to an ethical individual and organization. The skills necessary for these relationships include accurate perception, empathy, written and verbal communication, and critical thinking and problem-solving. These skills can be developed within the context of conflict management. Why?

Conflict has the potential to make or break relationships whether professional or personal. Conflict is a natural consequence of misunderstanding or different perspectives. Within leadership, there is always the possibility of conflict whether it be due to mistakes, miscommunication, and/or perceptual differences. Conflict can and often times does arise out of these situations. How individuals cope with and approach conflict is integral to the morale and functionality of relationships.  Often times, situations can be blown out of proportion or mitigated greatly by the approach of those involved.

The next essay details some tips and approaches to conflict management that are commonly used in conflict management.

TIPS and Approaches to Conflict Management

When a conflict arises between individuals, the first step in conflict management is learning to listen carefully to the individual (s) perspective and perceptions. You must fully understand what they are attempting to communicate. Taking notes and repeating what they are attempting to communicate back to them enables a more accurate understanding between the two parties. This approach is noted by established conflict management/relationship-building techniques.

After listening carefully, taking notes, and repeating back to the party what you understand from their perspective, you may choose to communicate your perspective. The more respectful you are in your language, the more effective you will be in communicating your message. Respectful language tends to be free of accusations and labels. It tends to center around observation and concrete examples free of judgment calls. You may want to rehearse what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Mentally preparing yourself for what the other party may say is also crucial.

You should approach the individuals(s) with whom you have the conflict with in PRIVATE first. Pointing out people's mistakes in front of other people is not only inappropriate but disrespectful and reflects poorly upon you. If the individual(s) refuse to take note of valid concerns that you may have, then you may consider bringing other appropriate people into the picture.

Taking responsibility for your actions is not a sign of weakness. If you have done something wrong or made a mistake, try your best to accept responsibility. Often, this involves an apology. Make sure your apology is sincere and that you have clearly demonstrated an understanding of your mistake. Remember, people make mistakes, and accepting responsibility is a strength of a leader not a weakness. When we fail to accept responsibility, trust is broken and not easily restored. Additionally, conflict should be addressed in a timely fashion. Breathing room should be allowed, but if too much time elapses, resentment may build.

“Good” people make bad decisions; they are not perfect. However, “good” people acknowledge their mistakes, typically come forward with their offense, apologize sincerely, and make it up to the individual parties if possible and in an appropriate manner.

Sincere apologies tend not to be peppered with excuses although there may be reasons. Sincere apologies express understanding over the depth or nature of the offenses. Sincere apologies express a willingness to rebuild trust and repair any damages in an appropriate manner.

Addressing relevant conflict is important. When you bring someone’s irrelevant mistakes or poor decisions with other people or even with yourself, it’s malicious and disrespectful. Healthy conflict focuses on relevant information pertaining to the current conflict in order to help the person realize the validity of your viewpoint.

Remember to pick and choose your battles. Some conflicts are worth addressing; others may be more minor. Really learn to evaluate and assess the pros and cons of each situation before choosing to address it. Two factors to consider are the severity and nature of the offense and the frequency of the offense.

There are exceptions in attempting to manage conflict. If an individual is abusive or harmful, you should not attempt to continue to communicate with them.