The Trigger

I call my experiences with this specific individual, “The Trigger,” because they triggered significant mental health problems for me.

I started being sexually harassed and verbally abused when I was 17 by a friend in high school. For example, he would call me asexual.

His personality was unattractive. There was a sense of entitlement to his behavior, and he was domineering. Additionally, he had a very grandiose vision of himself. He always liked to brag about himself, and at the same time, he continually put me down.

Additionally, he removed my name as director from a contract where we were to co-direct a short film I wrote. I changed the contract back to something similar and did not tell him about the change. I made a mistake out of fear and did not let him know about the contract change. When he found out he then made me look bad over the incident and proceeded to treat me in a nasty and abusive manner.

When I became suicidal as a result of his behavior, he was notified, and he immediately started bashing me.

However, what was more disturbing than his behavior were friends’ and people’s reactions. These reactions intensified my pain and also contributed significantly to my poor mental health.

My emotions were ridiculed, dismissed, trivialized, and/or I was hated on and blamed for what happened to me. 

I recognized that the majority of people simply didn’t care to understand, empathize, or be there for me.

Additionally, I felt pressure from certain people to be friends with this man again. I refused. I was afraid of him and felt that he was unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

My Advice to You:

-Be mentally prepared for those who might not understand your pain and forgive them in spite of it. It will make you free as a person.

- Don't compromise your values as I did by continuing to hang around someone who does not treat people well. Forgive yourself and forgive that person.

- Do not blame yourself for the abuse. Do not apologize for being abused. It's not your fault no matter how many people claim it is.

- If you make a mistake, own up to it. Apologize in a sincere manner, and compensate any damages you caused with this mistake.

- Additionally, I used to try to convince people to do the right thing. It’s disrespectful. An individual should want to do the right thing and is his/her decision alone. I can make recommendations; however, I should not force my beliefs on anyone. Additionally, when someone is forced to do the right thing, the action loses meaning as it is not genuine.